drop the pressure
So, I really thought I was going to Bali to do the work. What I didn’t realise was… the real work would be facing myself.
On one of my last days in Bali, I woke up feeling… irritated. Like I hadn’t had the big moment I was waiting for. No lightning bolt of clarity. No grand epiphany.
I remember thinking, “Well, there’s only two days left. If it hasn’t happened by now, it’s not going to.”
But that same morning, I went to yoga. And something small but powerful happened.
I wasn’t in my head. I felt the most present I had done all month. I walked out thinking, That was the best class I’ve done here.
Then I came home, sat still… and the emotion just hit me.
A big, unexpected release - like my body had been holding something the whole time and was finally ready to let it go.
And what came through was this:
You can’t outrun yourself.
I’d spent the month thinking I hadn’t done enough. That I should have been “more present.” That I should have had more insight, more clarity, more something by now.
But the truth was - I needed all 30 days to finally arrive at my own feet.
Not through the meditations or the journaling or the workshops (though they were awesome and I learned SO much.)
But by being with myself. Long enough. Quiet enough.
Without the usual distractions of home, of others, of busyness.
That’s when I saw it clearly:
Sometimes we’re not lost. We’re just standing too close to ourselves to see.
Later that day, I did a meditation for clarity. I let go of the pressure to “get” an answer, and that’s exactly when something came.
A clear image of a closed lotus flower.
And the words: “Drop the edges.” appeared in my mind and body.
to me, the ‘edges’ are the petals.
When I looked it up later, I read that a closed lotus represents the beginning of a spiritual awakening. A sign of transformation and the journey inward.
Not perfection. Not enlightenment. But starting to open.
And then a feather landed beside me. Out of nowhere. A symbol of trust, softness, and spiritual guidance.
That’s what Bali gave me.
Not a single lightning bolt - but the slow return to presence.
The reminder that clarity and deep connection doesn’t come when we force it.
It comes when we stop running, drop the pressure… and finally sit with ourselves.
If you missed any of my earlier love letters from Bali, here they are - each one a different step on the path that brought me home to myself:
✨ When Strategy Isn’t Enough: My Journey Back to Alignment
✨ The Body Never Forgets: What 9D Breathwork Taught Me
✨ The Mirror Moment: When Someone Helps You See What’s Already There
Maybe one of them will meet you where you are.
With love
Jessica 🌿
P.S If you’re in a season where you’re ready to reconnect, remember, or be gently redirected, I’d be honoured to support you. Book a free Clarity Call with me here 🌿 I will have x2 spaces for 1:1 clients starting in June